this is me
by ghostgirlZ13
Summary: a girl named mercy finds herself in the country of hearts after she falls threw her mirror...
1. Chapter 1

Ghostgirl; hello people when I tell you to listen to the song through the trees by low shoulder please do because it just adds to the drama, thanks. Ps. The message will say listen to song.

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><p>My name is mercy, I have short blonde hair that goes to my shoulders and brown eyes.<p>

I start to read my books for school there about a girl who gets trapped in a fantasy.

"Why are books so boring?" I ask my self as I lay upside down on my brown soft chair.

I live in a one bed one bathroom apartment, it's so small I think.

My major is philosophy and film.

When I'm older I want to work in a mental institution but first I want well need my master degrees.

I set my book down and get my mp3 player and a glass of orange juice.

"I'm wasting time! Why can't time stop?" I ask myself I set my juice down and put the head phones in my ears I listen to the song ignorance by paramore.

I keep reading my book that's when I look out of my window an think about the story I use to love when I was a little girl.

Alice in wonderland a perfect children's book.

Well now that I'm older alice in wonderland isn't as innocent as I thought it was.

I look at the clock 3;00 exactly.

"NO" I scream I have to finish this book by tonight than write a paper on it tomorrow. I have a tendency to wait till the last minute to read boring books than write a stupid paper on them.

I'm surprised I made it out of high school.

"I wonder if wonderland is real?" I whisper to myself a chill goes through me.

I look at the mirror "through the looking glass" I say to myself.

I start to walk up to the mirror I put my hand on it and my hand goes through it.

"What the?" I ask myself looking at the mirror I put my hand back on the mirror and soon I fall through it.

I open my eyes and see roses every where. "O no this is bad really bad I have no clue where I am" I say well cry.

I start running until I bump into a man he has black hair and blue eyes he has a hat on. I rip my wrist out of his grasp and start running. "sorry" I scream as I am running. I soon reach a mansion I then stop running because I lost all me breath running from that man in the hat.

"hello miss a man says he wears a blue suit "who're you?" I ask "his names dee and I'm dum" another mans voice says from behind me. I turn around he is in a red suit similar to the other boys suit.

"well I'm mercy" I say with a smile they smile at me too.

I look down at what I'm wearing its gray shorts that cut off at my knees and a yellow tank top. I feel really weird wearing pj's infront of other people.

At least my hair is brushed and in a ponytail.

"sorry but I have to go I say I take my mp3 player out of my pocket and play the song "alice of human sacrifice" I start humming the song as I walk through the woods.

I feel like I'm being watched but I don't care I still hum the song.

I than turn around nothing "I'm tired I wonder if the grass is nice to sleep on?" I ask my self as I yawn.

Lucky for me it starts to get dark in a second.

I lay my head down on a pile of leaves and fall asleep.

"MOMMY DON"T LEAVE" I scream as the image of my mom fades away I than fall into darkness.

I look down at myself I'm the age of thirteen again the age where my mom killed herself or so the police said, she jumped off a cliff.

But I think she was pushed off a cliff by someone, but the police didn't believe me and my father blamed me for my mom killing herself .

"STOP THIS" I scream a man appears before me "give me my mom" I order the man smiles than pats my head.

"you killed your mom" the man says as he puts his face closer to mine. The man has maroon hair and red eyes with a evil smile and laugh.

I then grab his hand as I start getting pulled into the darkness I wake up screaming.

Sweat drips off my forehead "mom" I whisper I wipe the tears from my eyes.

I see the bright sun I get up an start walking again.

I walk till I reach an amusement park.

I walk threw the gate and see faceless people every where.

"mom please if this is a dream erase that one memory from my head" I ask in a whisper as I close my eyes.

I feel a hand on my shoulder "hello mercy" that voice it's Dees voice.

"hello you two" I say knowing the other brother's with him.

Dum grabs my wrist and then dee grabs my other wrist they start dragging me to a fairs wheel.

Then they push me into it and sit on each side of me.

"I hate heights" I say my voice shaky "to bad for you" dee says "yep deal with it" dum says.

The farris wheel starts moving I then grasp dees arm.

Dum strokes my hair as I clutch his brothers arm. "please let this be a horrible dream" I whisper in a pleading voice.

When it stops I open my eyes were at the top "I would like to stay high in the air and know I never would fall" I say looking at the view of all the people and buildings an trees.

We start moving again I only clutch my shorts as I look at the view.

When we get off I thank both brothers than I run because I never really had someone ever seem to care a little about me.

At least I hope they care for me just a little.

But it's no good to hope for something especially when you know it will just hurt more in the future.

I stop running after I pass the gate and am a few feet into the woods. It starts to turn to sunset and I'm lost in the woods.

I turn my mp3 player on and am listening to "maybe" from annie.

I reach a palace.

I start to walk to the gate there's faceless guards here.

"hello I have no idea where I am may I please stay here before time changes?" I ask.

the two guards smile at me.

"You're a outsider" one of the guards says.

I smile and shake my head yes even though I have no idea what there talking about.

Mostly cause my music is blasted and I can't here any thing except tick tock by kesha.

They let me pass I smile and say thank you.

When I open the palace doors I see I'm alone and start to sing as I walk through the halls.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and spin around quickly I take the headphones out.

"Hello miss" the man says.

He has red eyes white shaggy hair and bunny ears.

"You look weird are those your real ears?" I ask.

I realize I'm acting just like my thirteen year old self and I'm nineteen.

"well aren't you nice" the man says in a sarcastic voice I smile "I know I am, aren't I cute too?" I ask as I lean in towards his face.

"well I guess you are, what's your name?" he ask "the names mercy like a cry for help more of a plead" I say in a sinister voice.

"well my names peter and girl don't act so tough in this world if you know what's good for you" the man says than walks off I look at him.

"Wait can you help me!" I scream like I would when I tried to convince the police mother didn't kill herself.

"If you want my help drink this" peter says as he pulls out a glass bottle containing a pink liquid.

I twist the lid off of it and poor it in my mouth.

"Come with me girl" peter says I follow him.

I soon am in front of a woman in a beautiful red dress. "Hello my queen" peter says I see more faceless and another person besides the queen who has a face.

He has brown hair and brown eyes.

I blush a little than put the headphones back in my ears.

I listen to the song 'I want a mom'.

I know the song is in rugrats go to Paris.

I have my eyes closed but open them when peter taps me on the shoulder.

"What is it? I just want to listen to a song!" I scream but than realize I was in a daydream.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean it, I was thinking of my mom" I say trying not to cry.

"Does the have a mother" the queen ask I shake my head no.

"Can I please stay here tonight or what ever the time is here?" I ask the queen shakes her head yes.

The man with brown hair shows me to my room.

"Not trying to be perverted or anything but can you stay in this room with me until I fall asleep I'm scared to be alone" I say in a quiet voice.

I'm glad when he says yes he sits in the rocking chair beside the bed and watches me until I fall asleep.

I wake up as I scream and scream until someone comes into the room and puts his hand over my mouth.

"Keep quiet everyone can here you" it's peters voice.

I hug him around the waist "the man with that wicked laugh he blames me, he says I killed mother" I cry.

Peter pats me on the head "don't scream mercy I'm here for you" peter says but I still cry into his lap.

"I just want my mom" I cry. (LISTEN TO SONG)

That night I cried myself to sleep when I woke up it was cloudy.

I looked on the chair and there was a lavender dress that cut off at my knees and had long sleeves, it also had a purple headband with purple dress shoes.

I put the outfit on but kept my white and black tennis shoes on.

I walked down stairs to the dining hall everyone was there "are the feeling better today?" the queen asked "yes, I'm sorry but what's your name?" I asked "Vivaldi" the queen replied.

"well Vivaldi I'm going to go out today" I said "be carful, today is April season" peter said "I will" I say as I smile than run out side of the palace.

I keep running until I am about a mile away from the palace. "I can't return I can't fall in love with people who wont be in my life forever i can't fall in love with my dreams" I say to myself as I collapse to the ground and start crying.

"hello mercy" a voice said I looked up and saw the man from my dreams "you may recognize me my name is white, joker white".

The man said with his wicked smile.

I stand up from the ground and brush the dirt off of my dress. "Why did you go inside my head? Why did you make me scream every night?" I screamed as tears ran down my face.

"so I could get under your skin and get in to a outsiders head. it was fun while it lasted" white said a smile on his face.

I start running but it's so confusing in these parts of the woods.

I look around for away out but another joker comes up to me and grabs my wrist.

"let me go I want out of this stupid freaking wonderland" I scream then fall to the ground.

White laughs with his twin.

They drag me to a big tent but before they reach the tent well the circus I claw, kick, scream, punch and fall to the ground but when we reach the circus I stop and look around.

"mama brought me to a circus when I was seven I said I wanted to be like the tightrope girls that's why I did gymnastics for three years" I said as I laid on my knees.

I stood up again both jokers grabbed one of my wrist "take me if you want to at least I'll know you both like me if you'd go threw all that trouble to just take a little girl here" I say than giggle a little.

"hey mercy you know the jokers?" a man said I know his voice he's that knight the one who stayed in my room to watch me.

"HELP" I scream white covers my mouth and my nose with one hand and wraps another arm around my arms so I can't yank his hand away.

I soon pass out when I wake up I'm in a chair I stand up and a light shines on me.

"You said you love circuses if you don't want to rot away in a prison I suggest you show us your talent" the other joker says "first what's your name" I ask in a demanding voice "black, joker black" the man says I put my headphones in and start to sing through the trees.

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><p>mercy; great I'm a slave, jade!<p>

jade; no your not a slave, i want you to end up with one of the twins.

mercy; great i have to break one of there hearts?

jade; i think juliuse will be in the next story.

mercy; you like him now?

jade; well i like all of them but white is the one i really like than peter than juliuse than boris...

mercy; you need a life jade.

jade; i like kishy

mercy; who?

jade; wrong anime character.

mercy; you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Ghostgirl; hi, I don't really know how to do white or blacks characters that well so bare with me please. Also if any of you know how old the bloody twins are please tell me.

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><p>I fall to my knees.<p>

"Not good enough" black says whipping me across the face I clench the dirt ground as I try not to scream.

I stand back up tall and strong "I will try harder, promise" I say a smile on my face.

I need to get out of this place NOW or I'll rot here in this wonderland.

I climb up the latter and start walking across the tightrope, I feel my feet about to slip I feel as light as a feather.

I then slip my hands still clutch the rope.

"come on mercy be a good little circus girl and give us a show to remember" white yells, black smirks.

I flip my legs over the rope and let my hands dangle I want to scream but don't.

I then accidentally slip. I scream.

When I hit the ground I hold my arm and I run out of the tent.

I bump into a man I saw first, the man in the rose garden.

I look different in the turquoise leotard, with my lips the same color at least my hair still looks the same.

"I believe we have met in my rose garden" the man in the hat says.

I hide behind him he's at least two feet taller than me.

"Blood dupre what do you want?" white ask as he tilts his head looking at me.

"you still act like that little girl you were before you killed your mother" white says a smile on his face.

"I didn't kill her" I scream clenching my fist.

"Don't you remember what really happened that day?" white ask me "what do you mean?" I ask in a whisper.

"your mother was shot twelve times by your dad he blamed you and you were sent to a mental institution.

"You were let out of there when you turned sixteen" black says as he walks towards me and holds his whip by my face.

I take three lashes to the face and than fall to the ground.

The guy named blood picks me up bridal style "I'll be taking her for a while" blood says he hands black and white a card than walks off with me.

I wake up and it's dark out.

I walk out of the room and out to the yard where there having a party.

"Hello mercy" dee an dum say to me.

I smile but my face hurts a lot.

"would you like some tea mercy?" another man ask me he has orange hair and green eyes also he has bunny ears too.

"sorry but I like coffee not tea" I say in a shaky voice.

"hello alice" blood says I turn around and see a girl with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair she is wearing a long silk purple dress.

"your so beautiful and perfect" I say alice looks at me "well your beautiful too" alice says I laugh a little.

"no I'm not beautiful I'm cute" I say alice laughs then stops I tell she sees my face.

And I'm right when she ask me what happened to my face I tell her I was running through the woods and fell on a few branches as I was climbing trees.

If you think I'd tell her I got beat up by two guys that can get inside my dreams your wrong.

"alice do you like music?" I ask as I pull my mp3 player out she shakes her head yes.

"will you sing a song with me?" I ask her gesturing to the electronic "sure" she says shaky.

I take the headphones out so we can sing the song it's called "fall to sleep" I have no clue who by though.

We start singing.

"roses have faded from red to grey.

Smiling faces fade away.

Leafless trees no longer sway.

Dust and cinders fill the air.

Hollow people stop to stare.

Forests all are dead and bare.

Zephyrs blow through tattered air.

Lay your head down and close your eyes.

Shut out the world, sing a lullaby.

You could be dreaming so say goodbye.

And fall to your sleeping world.

Ashes of what use to be.

Fly and fall lost and free.

Ruins far as can be seen.

Burdened eyes have lost there gleam.

Lay your head down and close your eyes.

Shut out the world sing a lullaby.

You could be dreaming so say goodbye.

And fall to your sleeping world.

Cover your ears and settle down.

Clear your head of what's going around.

You can fight all you like with nothing to gain.

Or slip to a world of sweet refrain.

Lay your head down and close your eyes.

Shut out the world sing a lullaby.

You could be dreaming so say goodbye.

And fall to your sleeping world"

after the song was over I realized I was the only one who finished the song everyone was speechless except for the twins who were both clapping and laughing there heads off.

I wonder what would have happened if I sang hey alice.

"alice didn't you know the words?" I ask she shakes her head no.

I look at my feet this feels real embarrassing.

"I'll be going now" I say I look at everyone "alice your perfect every one loves you. Your so beautiful and I bet every one in this stupid wonderland loves you because… your you you're the perfect outsider and I'm just the girl who can't cook can't listen to a book unless it relates to wonderland and isn't you" I run off after my speech back into the woods.

I keep walking it starts snowing that's when I find a clock tower.

I walk up stairs until I get to the top "what if I stay up here forever and let myself stay a beautiful queen of ice" I say to my self as I fall back in the snow.

I take my ponytail out and lay In the snow an fall asleep.

When I wake up I'm inside in bed.

I look on the bed and there is a pink dress that is made for winter it is long and has long sleeves.

When I'm changed into the dress I walk until I see a man he has silver hair and a eye patch across one of his eyes.

"hello mercy" the man says "how did you know my name?" I ask as I look at him.

"you look better in purple" the man says again.

"Thanks but what's your name" I ask "nightmare" he replies.

I look at him as he sits in a chair.

"You're lucky you could have died, but wait you wanted to die so at least you would be noticed in stead of alice" nightmare says as he stands up and walks towards me.

"I hate that even in my dreams another girl has to make every one like her" I say as I turn around, he just laughs.

I turn back towards him "I never told you my name how did you know it?" I ask looking him in the eyes as I tremble with fear.

"I helped white" he says I back away from him.

I lock myself in the room with my leotard and rip off the winter dress.

I put the turquoise leotard on and a pink head band on that I found.

I then run out down stairs through the halls.

"she is so beautiful and I'm the little girl that makes every thing go wrong" I think to myself I realize it's sunny outside.

It's warm, swimming weather.

I look around I'm at the amusement park.

I run past the gate and run into someone.

When I open my eyes I'm on top of a boy with kitty ears my hand is pressed up against his chest "a clock" I say in a shaky voice as I jump off of him.

"hello never seen you around hear before. What's your name?" he ask me I look at him then reply "mercy" he smiles at me.

"you come from the circus?" he ask me looking at my outfit "no I was there but I came from some where else.

I'm a outsider" I say looking at the ground.

"hey want to go swimming with me and the twins" he ask I look at him "okay but I think you mean you and half of wonderland" I say blushing a little.

"Well your kind of right" he says.

We start walking "what's your name?" I ask "boris" he replies I smile.

"I have a riddle for you" I say "I love riddles what's the riddle" boris says.

"What lives forever even when it dies?" I ask he thinks about it.

" I have to think about it, but here's a swim suit for you" he says handing me a two piece. It is lavender and turquoise it has ruffles and is super cute.

"Thanks, but where do I change" I ask looking at him.

He points to a door I go through it and get changed.

We walk together and he explains about the country of hearts.

When we get to the pool I see a lot of people I already have met.

When I see alice I look down I dip my feet in to the pool and look at all the people that will soon disappear when I wake up and wake up in a mental institution.

I close my eyes and then feel hands on my shoulders I am then pushed in to the water.

"Hello mercy enjoying the water?" the twins ask me I go under the water and scream.

"Just peachy" I say in a sarcastic voice when I come back up from under the water.

I just float in the water thinking of what black said to me.

"hello I think we got off on the wrong page" alice says to me "I'm sorry I was a jerk. It's just when I wake up I'll be in a mental institution because you can never escape reality" I say as I wipe my tears away.

"hello black" alice says I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Hi alice, mercy" black says I dunk myself underwater and go by alice.

"hey alice how old are you?" I ask hideing behind her "twenty-two why?" she ask "I just wanted to see are age difference because I'm nineteen" I say laughing a little.

I get out of the water and sit on a chair.

The twins sit by me "why don't you go swimming with us?" dee ask "mercy please play with us" dum says.

I blush a light red.

"I will swim later" I say the twins then go off an play.

I look at peter screaming at people who say they love alice I just have to laugh.

I walk over to the pool and jump in an hug alice "I love alice too" I say as I hug her around the waist.

"I LOVE ALICE MORE" peter shouts I just laugh.

"get a life my friend" I say getting off alice then I try talking to black an white.

"you guys love alice too?" I ask looking in to the water "she's a girl a interesting girl but you seem a little more interesting" white says I pick my head up again.

"What are you talking about?" bloods voice ask from behind me.

"about the girl we all love" I say in a sarcastic tone putting both my hands to my heart.

Blood laughs "so are you toying with her like most people do here or do you truly love her that you'd die a million times for her?" I ask looking at blood up and down.

"Well she is my toy and you're every ones toy in your own world aren't you?" he ask me I want to scream but I don't "well boys used me to get there old girlfriends jealous because I wouldn't kiss them. And when I was stuck in a mental institution well if I am my time is short" I say almost crying.

I get out of the pool and remember my mp3 player is still with that guy nightmare.

I feel someone tap on my shoulder I turn around and nightmare is handing me my mp3 player.

"thanks" I say than sit on the chair and listen to fly by hillary duff.

I like the night time better but I love the sun it's so nice an warm.

"Just a toy" I say to myself it's true I was just a toy in a kitties play box.

Well if I'm a toy to him why not turn this in to my own little game.

I take the headphones out of my mp3 player and have the music blasted the song is fun house. I start dancing and see people are starring just what I need.

The twins start dancing with me and I'm enjoying it.

Soon black an white start dancing and alice comes also.

I am so glad I fell through my mirror that's when I feel my pocket on my bathing suit.

The song ends and the song according to you comes on "the bottle is full" I say to myself but I don't want to leave I want to stay avoid reality forever.

I smash the bottle on the ground and people stare I look at the shattered glass and walk away from it to white and start dancing with him.

I will never go back there I like this world where someone will love me for me.

Also it may because I'm an outsider.

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><p>mercy; jade you made my character a loony.<p>

jade; you were to boring your better suicidal.

mercy; thanks alot.

jade; you so belong with one of the twins.

mercy; there sweet i guess, but i want to end up with black.

jade; ono i forgot to put juliuse in this story.

mercy; hahaha well bye for now.

jade; wait...


	3. Chapter 3

I feel weird when everyone stares at me but that's okay because what happens in wonderland stays in wonderland.

I think black is a little jealous when I start dancing with his twin, I feel kind of well happy an jittery.

I am the kind of girl who laughs when I get hurt and cries when I break a nail.

It's actually fun making others jealous because then you know if they like you.

It's actually awkward that when I walk over to nightmare the song if I die young comes on.

"well I guess I would like to be put on a bed of roses if I die young" I say and laugh a little making it even more silent between the two of us.

I see dee an dum fighting over alice I laugh a little.

I start feeling dizzy and I know there are no drugs in wonderland so I probably have a fever.

"is any one eles feeling really hot?" I ask felling my neck I then black out.

I feel the hard ground I try feeling for something soft an warm.

I open my eye lids and I'm in someone's arms that I don't know.

"I didn't mean to be a burden" I say in a soft voice I start coughing.

I look on my hand blood of course.

I jump out of his arms and try to balance myself but I fall to the ground a couple of times.

I then decide to crawl against the ground because the world is spinning.

The twins step in front of me and poke me.

"STOP IT YOU IDIOTS" I scream I grab my MP3 player and fall back to the ground.

"mom don't leave" I say in a whisper.

I got really bad fevers when I was five one lasted since I was seven till I was twelve.

I was in the hospital for a really long time the doctors said I probably would die before I was twenty five and I think they were right.

I hate hospitals because when I was there I had nightmares about the hospital monster would come and do an autopsy to me when I was alive.

I feel hands under my arms I am on borises back I wrap my arms around his neck and fall asleep. When I wake up I'm in a bed with a icepack on my head I can't stop coughing.

I feel my skin it's burning like fire but I feel as cold as ice.

I try standing up but fall back on the ground.

"Why me? Why?" I cry to myself.

A man with brown hair in a braid with green eyes and glasses picks me up from the ground and sits me back on the bed.

"sorry your still in your bathing suit but we didn't know who should change you if you needed someone to" he says to me.

My expression is blank because I don't want people to see me naked but I fear someone has to. "alice, she's a girl."

I say in a demanding voice.

I fall back on to the bed trying to stay warm. About thirty minutes later alice is here and she has a white dress for me.

It's actually really pretty it has no sleves or straps and ends at my knees, she also has white dress shoes that match the dress.

She helps me dress into it.

After that I sit in a wheelchair and the twins push it, I gripp the wheelchairs handles.

Here's a tip never let the twins push you or you will feel like you're going to die in a second. Were at the mansion and it's fall here.

I love the weather here it's nice and crisp, and the trees are like a painting.

Alice finally takes over pushing the wheel chair and I am so glad.

I see there's another tea party meaning I have to drink tea at least they have chocolate chip cookies and carrot cake.

I feel happy inside that I'm here because I will have friends before I die.

I also know this isn't a dream this is realty or eles I would be ruler of the world and I would be saying off with their head.

I'm glad this isn't a dream because if it was I wouldn't remember them forever.

I actully am having a good time and I sit next to a man named Julius and gray.

I feel dizzy, I'm tired, scared I'll die.

I try staying awake, but it hurts, I start scratching my arm, blood gets under neath my finger nails.

Julius grabs my arm, I look into his eyes they're quite pretty.

I smile and with out thinking blurt out "Alice should so end up with you".

When I realize I said that out loud I cover my mouth with my hands and hear peter start screaming.

I look around, everyone is having such a good time and I here white say something to me.

"Hey mercy, honey, a ball is coming up ya'wanna go with me?".

I freeze, my body numb, I remember the last dance I went to.

"A dance, but he...ki...killed them, all of them" I mummble.

I Jump out of my seat.

My body trembels, I feel cold.

I see alice walking towards me.

"No, stay I wanna take a walk alone" I shout.

I see on mostly evryone's face they think I'm crazy.

And then I fall backwards.

I guess I really should have just stayed seated.

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><p>jade; hey peoples!<p>

akira; hey people just wanna tell you people a song you should listen to, it's called; marry me by emilie automn

mercy; your not in this book...

black; well she's hot...

ichigo; Nya~ I'm defender of the earth...wrong story :D

jade; well okay then...bye...


End file.
